Sunday, June 18, 2017

Repose


Curtains swaying with the breeze. Birds chirping out a madly contagious “good morning sun! good morning wind! Good morning all, wake up wake up!” Coffee pot sluggishly coming to life, so too my mind. Otherwise, there is the silence and peace that only an early weekend dawn offers. My life has seemed so rushed for the past, well, as long as my harried memory can groggily recall, that this morning comes as a precious gift. I savor the stillness, allowing myself to float along & meld into the sense of timelessness.

In more than one way, I’ve come to the point of repose; decisions were made, details organized, changes implemented, and now there comes a period of stillness. More like my body & heart demand a time of recovery. It’s been incredible to realize how much stress had silently accumulated and to experience simple conversations that somehow find tripwires I didn’t know were there. Welcome to the let-down phase.

Do you ever notice how neat and tidy fairy tales are? How no one ever experiences that let-down phase (congratulations, you’re a prince now!), or has PTSD (a giant almost ate you!), or requires any sort of extended period of healing (your dad died and your mom tried to kill you!)? In many tales death is completely reversible.[1] For lengthy physical illnesses the cure is generally instantaneous with the aid of a magical cup, spoon, hair, plant, etc. The princess sacrificed to the dragon is rescued and voilà! Happily ever after, no counseling required. No lifelong aversion to lizards or fire.

The “wouldn’t it be grand to just have it done with and move on?” thought is so tempting, but accepting that thought in haste does not do justice to the way we were designed. Applying a narrative feature to life would exclude a part of life’s beauty that escapes story. Think about it. What if all you did was climb a mountain, never pausing at vistas or the pinnacle to look back over the path? There were boulders and bugs and blisters birthing baby blisters and you really felt like giving up numerous times and maybe your legs still feel like wilty lettuce, but check out your new horizon! Accomplishment, beauty, awe, appreciation, deeper knowledge, personal insight—these cannot be glossed over and, fortunately or unfortunately, are only found when you walk the path. “Just having done with it” frequently results in forfeiting the benefits of reflection & rest, not to mention exacts a high toll on your endurance.

On those same trails, you encounter cairns, those stacks of rocks made by others on the same path. In more rugged, remote areas they mark the trail but many others serve no purpose except as a statement of “I was here” to assert a claim or tie to a place. This is no new concept—all throughout the Old Testament (and predating it) there are stories of people leaving markers to recall events, most relating to God’s miraculous intervention[2]. This is my goal for the next couple weeks: to take out of my pockets the stones that have been weighing me down, roll them around in my hands a little, and intentionally arrange them to stick out—to be visible—to call attention to and name what this path has been but even more to be a landmark proclaiming the Lord’s goodness.

How I hope you will experience moments of repose! How I wish to encourage you! I am by no means good or perfect at allowing myself to rest, as evidenced by my wilty lettuce legs and tripwires, but from this vantage point clearly see its necessity. May you allow yourself rest, and may there be abundant strength and insight for you there.



[1] The Three Snake-Leaves involves being brought back to life with leaves previously used by a snake to bring another snake back to life after he was chopped into 3 pieces. Märchen has some weird stuff.
[2] Joshua ch.4 is just one example. And that old hymn phrase, “here I raise mine Ebenezer”? Yep. Direct reference to another example, this one from 1 Samuel 7:10-13.

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